Be self-aware. That is, know what’s going on inside you. What is it you need? Feel? Want? You may need to take some time to become self-aware. Physical activity helps with this. Writing can help some. Prayer or at least some deep breaths can help most of us. When you are aware of what’s going on with you, be willing to communicate that to your partner. How will he or she know what you’re thinking, needing, wanting, feeling if you don’t express it? We can’t expect others to know what we want or need by guessing. Be willing and have the courage to say what it is.
The other side of awareness is to be very aware of your partner, too. If you don’t know, ask him or her what he or she is thinking, feeling, wanting, experiencing. And when you ask, then, by all means, sit back and really listen with both ears.
Both sides of awareness are really the starting point for moving in the direction of resolving whatever needs to be resolved.