You often hear people say that the first year of marriage is the most challenging, and that is often very true. No matter how long you date before getting married, marriage tends to bring out differences that previously went unnoticed.
Here are three suggestions to keep to help you preserve your marital bliss as newlyweds.
- Adjust Your Expectations
According to dating coach Chantal Heide, unrealistic expectations is a major cause of fighting newlyweds. Rather than painting a picture in your head of a perfect life, be realistic and go with the flow. You may not buy a house in the first year, or pay off every cent of your wedding debt, but that’s okay. You need to understand that ups and downs are going to be inevitable. You need to embrace each challenge and work through them together. In the process you will become a much stronger couple.
- Accept What you Cannot Change
He had a tendency to run late before marriage, so why expect that to change after marriage? We all have flaws, and committing to the commitment of marriage is committing to embrace the flaws of another person. You might prefer taking one route to the grocery store and she might insist on taking another, but in the end, they will both get you there. Although you might feel one with your spouse, you are still different people and it is important to accept that. Resist the urge to change your partner, and accept who they are – the person you have committed to know and love.
- Keep Romance and Adventure Alive
You’re married now, and it can be easy to fall into the habit of heading home and turning on Netflix. Although a night curled up on the couch is a great occasional “date night,” it is so important to get out as a married couple. It is possible to fall in love with one another every day, but it can’t be done from your comfort zone. Go on date nights. Dress up. Give your partner simple gifts or surprise her with her favorite treat. Never lose sight of how important it is to keep having adventures together: Whether you spend a week out of the country or an afternoon exploring a new part of town, be sure to keep things fresh and the romance that is so important in marriage will become effortless.
Need some additional support? Talk Points provides high-value e-courses to help you navigate the ups and downs of engagement. Rev. Dr. Frank Nelson’s online marriage preparation tools are enjoyable, private, easy to access, and life-changing. Go to www.onlinemarriageprep.com to learn more!